Caps Lock Just Doesn't Cut It.

So... for the record, I :would: post pictures along with this post, but I have to draw them on paint (yay high tech computer poop) and I'm a terrible artist, and lazy right now because I had some deliscious turkey :gobble gobble: which makes you sleeeepy. So today young sasquaches, we are going to use the power of our IMAGINATION!!!! ~insert insane glitter barfing rainbow here~
anywhooooo

So I am here to rand about how Caps Lock doesn't cut it.

Example 1: Anger
When you are super angry, and giving someone a piece of your mind, there is no accomplishment to pressing a button, then typing on as usual! :oh, hmm so I'm really angry at you and typing angry things, and so I'll press caps lock and continue... typing... Well. That just didn't give me the satisfaction I was looking for:

For some reason, holding down the SHIFT button, and TYPING REALLY ANGRILY AT A FAST PACE is just so much more vindicating! :Oh yeah, I am now going to yell at you with written words. I'M YELLING, AND DIDN'T PRESS ANY SISSY BUTTONS TO DO SO! I AM SELF SUFFICIENT, AND I'M STILL TYPING AT TWICE THE PACE YOU ARE! TAKE THAT DWEEB!:

I mean seriously. What kind of emotion and accomplishment can you acheive from a button that does the work for you? I do not feel the satisfaction unless I'm pressing down shift.

Example 2: Excitement.
*presses caps lock* :"LIKE OMG, I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE POWER RANGERS CONVENTION TODAY. LIKE GIGGLEGARF, SERIOUSLY, IT WILL BE SO SUPER FANTABULOUS. MAYBE WE'LL MEET CUTE GUYS THERE!" wow... suddenly I'm less excited because that whole caps expirience ruined my self confidence... I feel that I can't control the mad capishness.:

By the time you remember that you have caps lock on, you start hitting shift at the beginning of a sentence, then it makes it lower case. You swear, fart, undo it, then keep going, and you end up tying at the same unexciting pace. Verses HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT, which for no reason at all makes you type faster because you are so excited for your accomplishments. You feel in control. YOU (typed while holding down shift!) HAVE THE POWER! You can do whatever you want you control the shift. Now... doesn't that feel good. You don't need to take orders from anyone. You DON'T have to take it! You can Hold that shift! No silly button can do this for you.

Good day.

The 7 Types of Students

1. The muncher.

The muncher is the one who sits in the seat next to you, and will not stop nomming. They have a chemical in their brain called imagonnastarvaifidonteatconstantlyamon. This chemical drives them clinically insane, because they believe that they will waste away into nothing if they wait 26 minutes until lunch. They have ketchup in their veins, and sneeze out bacon bits. They also make slurping noises, and unnecisarry grunting as they eat.

2. Teacher's Pet.

OMG I NEED TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU SAY, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOD, I MEAN SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE MY IDOL. I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU AND LOOK LIKE YOU AND TALK LIKE YOU AND SMELL LIKE YOU, AND EVERY TIME I DROOL I CAN TASTE YOUR TEACHERY GOODNESS. AND I'M GOING TO RAISE MY HAND AT EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY TO SHOW YOU HOW SMART I AM AND HOW DEDICATED I AM BECUASE I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU, AND MAYBE YOU'LL SEE HOW AWESOME I AM AND CALL ON VERY EVERY TIME, AND THEN YOU'LL SEE THAT MY BRAIN IS TWICE THE SIZE OF ALL OF THESE LOSER'S BRAINS. AND THAT I IS THE MOST SMARTEST AND I ROOL ALL, AND I'M GONNA TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING YOU SAY, AND HA HA HAA, THAT WAS FUNNY! EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS GENUIS, I JUST HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN OR I'LL SIMPLY DIE OF NARWHAL OVERDOSE, AND WAIT, IS THAT "SIT DOWN" WITH AN EXCLIMATION POINT OR A COMMA, BECAUSE I CAN CERTAINLY.....

3. Those annoying "popular" girls with deep voices who laugh like men and make obnoxious commentary from the back of the room.

"OOOOMIGODDD Did you see Justin? I think he just farted!"    

"Like, no way. Justin's butt is way too cute too fart" *giggle garf* "Ohhmyygodd, this class is sooooo stupid, I mean really, the teacher is really dumb, and I have no Idea why we're here, OHHMYYGODD! Justin DID just fart! mmm, who knew cute butts could make gas?"

4. The nose picker.



The nose picker sits in the middle of the room in plain sight of everyone. He or she has no idea that everyone can see their finger that is so high up their nose that it's probably tickling their tiny brain. Their parents descended straight from the caves, and they have only just discovered fire. Tissues are too much to ask for. When confronted about their nose pickeyness, they usually deny it, and exclaim how gross it is, then as soon as their miniscule brains forget what you have just said, they are off and picking again, probably hoping to find that gummy he stuck up there last Christmas.

5. The Imtoosexyformyshirtian.

Guy: The one that all the girls swoon over (even the teacher) who can come up with the complete wrong answer, but girls think everything he says is Shakespear. He thinks he is the coolest thing since sliced bread, and all the girls agree. (Except the smart ones who find him totally obnoxious) He plays on the sports teams, and has the dough (not the cookie kind) He is arrogant, and finds enjoyment in pushing other kids into lockers. I guess it makes up for the whole steriod side effect...

Girl: This girl is the one in class who carries around a mirror, because you're only allowed to use the bathroom once per class, and that is simply not enough time to stare at herself. She wears the kinds of skirts that have guy's heads turning. She has that girly girl giggle that we all know and hate,

and acts like a barbie doll. The worst part is, they usually

have a talent like sports or singing. Darn them.

They love to be fake, because it's less scary than being

themselves. They are convinced everyone is in love with

them. (Even the other girls) yet somehow they don't have

many friends. Go figure.

6. The nerd.

The nerd is that guy (or girl) in the class who is often too quickly judged. They are smart, like geeks without the social awkwardness. People often assume that school is their only dream, they never have school troubles, they have no lives, are the best partners because they'll do all the work for you, are ugly, and have no talent other than school. Nerds are actually nerds because they are good at stuff. (Drama nerd perhaps?) And people who are jealous of their talent try to put them down. Though many nerds wear glasses (let's not get stereotypical here) they can be very good looking. Nerds are the people you want to know. They are the ones that can be quiet (or not) and suprise you by making a super funny joke you thought them incapable of. Nerds can seem totally uncool and lame to hang around with. But the fry sense of humor and snort when they laugh is strangely audorable.

7. The guy who is in the classroom, and no one really likes them, because they are completely annoying, interrupt everyone in every.single.sentence.they.say. They don't shower enough, and they always scratch while other people are looking.

I feel no picture is needed for this character. He is the one who you want to go up to with a bucket of water hoping it will

a) relieve us all from some of that mysterious scent

b) get them to shut the cheese up

c) make them start melting, or

d) all of the above.

They can't let the teacher get through one sentense without interrupting, and can't seem to figure out how that is so annoying. They laugh at their own jokes, because no one else will. They raise their hand and when the teacher looks around the room for someone else to answer, raise it higher because maybe the teacher didn't see it the first time even though they're in the front row. Or maybe the exact leverage of his elbow made the teacher go into an epileptic episode, so you had to raise it higher for her to notice. Or maybe raising your hand higher someone generates a higher I.Q. I don't know, but it's a small need for them. This person always feels inclined to tell eveyone the story of their pet lizard that is actually made out of legos, and how it peed little lego urine bits on his hand once, so he had to be rushed to the hospital because lego pee is very toxic to people born in february. Everyone has heard this story 18 times, yet he (forgets?) (thinks they forgot?) (will poop himself if he doesn't tell it exactly 27 times a day?) He is also the one that is wayyyyy too interested in your life, and asks you questions all the time that you either "don't hear" or give some completely bogus answer to.

So, in short, these are the 7 types of students? Which one are you? # 2? 4? 17.28? or perhaps the # 8 that nobody dares to mention, because it is just too awesome.

Undeniable Evidence that Colin is an EVIL GENIUS!

Being the insane crazy SUPER SLEUTH that I am, I have observed that Colin is an evil genius. Along with some other super neat facts about spring. This is my observation journal.

And this is the undeniable evidence that Colin is an EVIL GENIUS!!!

(Stay on his good side)

What happens at Church Camp...

The macaroni is made of baby fat.

Let's meet behind cabin two.

Back stage during the song You Are Still My Boy, everyone is serenading Colonel Sanders. Several people place a finger on his portraite seductively. Chris procedes to make out with it.

Pixar aborted Avery's 18 babies. The half baby was saved.

What Is In Her Purse?

Avery is on the ground. Louis is bent over him. A little push here, and voila! Out comes a very awkward situation. And Louis doesn't get off of him right away... hmmm...

Hearing noises, we think it's a rapist coming out of the fridge. Lydia is prepared with the broom. Nope, just Landon.

Chris: This is your belly which is now going to plump with my seed.

John into my microphone: I hate black people.
Avery into my microphone: Johanna hates mexicans
Mike into my microphone: Mr. Directorperson is a jerk.
Johanna *turns off her microphone*

To be continued...

What Ever Happened to My Pants?

Andrew: I have nothing to offer you. No money, no jewels, no pants!

Me: Come on Andrew! What kind of a prince can't offer pants?!?

At costuming later that day, we come to realise the only part of his costume we cant find are (drumroll please) his pants. Kyah's pants dissapeared!

Kyah: It's okay Andrew, we don't need pants!

When Your Bladder Is Full

Prince Ali, I have to pee, Ali a Bladder.
Heard your toilet was a sight lovely to see.
And that good people is why
He got gloved up and dropped by
With 60 fresheners, pludgers galore,
With his soaps and scrubbers,
Toilet papers and more.
With his 40 flushes, his combs his brushes,
His water that swirls on key,
Make way, cause I have to pee!

When Ice Cream Fails

Note for anyone who feels that ice cream just isn't making you feel better. Grab a best friend, and rent the movie "Aquamarine." I don't care if you watch the rest of it, but go to the part where Aqua and the dude are in the resteraunt, and he takes a sip of salt water. Pause it on his face. Then play and pause again really fast. This right here is the cure for depression.

Beethoven in the Making.

Me: Meh, part two of Greensleeves is proving itself to be very difficult.

Alejandro: That's okay, part two of Mary Had a Little Lamb is always difficult to me.

Me: You're so awesome

Alejandro: As are you.

Male Models.

Caleb, Avery and I are on the ledge near the pond. Every time a car goes by, they slow down. A truck drives by and he goes particularly slowly when nearing us. The driver looks over as he passes by. In aggrivation Avery says: Geez! I hate it that they keep slowing down when they pass!
Caleb: He was just checking out my hot body