The 7 Types of Students

1. The muncher.

The muncher is the one who sits in the seat next to you, and will not stop nomming. They have a chemical in their brain called imagonnastarvaifidonteatconstantlyamon. This chemical drives them clinically insane, because they believe that they will waste away into nothing if they wait 26 minutes until lunch. They have ketchup in their veins, and sneeze out bacon bits. They also make slurping noises, and unnecisarry grunting as they eat.

2. Teacher's Pet.

OMG I NEED TO WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU SAY, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOD, I MEAN SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE MY IDOL. I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU AND LOOK LIKE YOU AND TALK LIKE YOU AND SMELL LIKE YOU, AND EVERY TIME I DROOL I CAN TASTE YOUR TEACHERY GOODNESS. AND I'M GOING TO RAISE MY HAND AT EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY TO SHOW YOU HOW SMART I AM AND HOW DEDICATED I AM BECUASE I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU, AND MAYBE YOU'LL SEE HOW AWESOME I AM AND CALL ON VERY EVERY TIME, AND THEN YOU'LL SEE THAT MY BRAIN IS TWICE THE SIZE OF ALL OF THESE LOSER'S BRAINS. AND THAT I IS THE MOST SMARTEST AND I ROOL ALL, AND I'M GONNA TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING YOU SAY, AND HA HA HAA, THAT WAS FUNNY! EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS GENUIS, I JUST HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN OR I'LL SIMPLY DIE OF NARWHAL OVERDOSE, AND WAIT, IS THAT "SIT DOWN" WITH AN EXCLIMATION POINT OR A COMMA, BECAUSE I CAN CERTAINLY.....

3. Those annoying "popular" girls with deep voices who laugh like men and make obnoxious commentary from the back of the room.

"OOOOMIGODDD Did you see Justin? I think he just farted!"    

"Like, no way. Justin's butt is way too cute too fart" *giggle garf* "Ohhmyygodd, this class is sooooo stupid, I mean really, the teacher is really dumb, and I have no Idea why we're here, OHHMYYGODD! Justin DID just fart! mmm, who knew cute butts could make gas?"

4. The nose picker.



The nose picker sits in the middle of the room in plain sight of everyone. He or she has no idea that everyone can see their finger that is so high up their nose that it's probably tickling their tiny brain. Their parents descended straight from the caves, and they have only just discovered fire. Tissues are too much to ask for. When confronted about their nose pickeyness, they usually deny it, and exclaim how gross it is, then as soon as their miniscule brains forget what you have just said, they are off and picking again, probably hoping to find that gummy he stuck up there last Christmas.

5. The Imtoosexyformyshirtian.

Guy: The one that all the girls swoon over (even the teacher) who can come up with the complete wrong answer, but girls think everything he says is Shakespear. He thinks he is the coolest thing since sliced bread, and all the girls agree. (Except the smart ones who find him totally obnoxious) He plays on the sports teams, and has the dough (not the cookie kind) He is arrogant, and finds enjoyment in pushing other kids into lockers. I guess it makes up for the whole steriod side effect...

Girl: This girl is the one in class who carries around a mirror, because you're only allowed to use the bathroom once per class, and that is simply not enough time to stare at herself. She wears the kinds of skirts that have guy's heads turning. She has that girly girl giggle that we all know and hate,

and acts like a barbie doll. The worst part is, they usually

have a talent like sports or singing. Darn them.

They love to be fake, because it's less scary than being

themselves. They are convinced everyone is in love with

them. (Even the other girls) yet somehow they don't have

many friends. Go figure.

6. The nerd.

The nerd is that guy (or girl) in the class who is often too quickly judged. They are smart, like geeks without the social awkwardness. People often assume that school is their only dream, they never have school troubles, they have no lives, are the best partners because they'll do all the work for you, are ugly, and have no talent other than school. Nerds are actually nerds because they are good at stuff. (Drama nerd perhaps?) And people who are jealous of their talent try to put them down. Though many nerds wear glasses (let's not get stereotypical here) they can be very good looking. Nerds are the people you want to know. They are the ones that can be quiet (or not) and suprise you by making a super funny joke you thought them incapable of. Nerds can seem totally uncool and lame to hang around with. But the fry sense of humor and snort when they laugh is strangely audorable.

7. The guy who is in the classroom, and no one really likes them, because they are completely annoying, interrupt everyone in every.single.sentence.they.say. They don't shower enough, and they always scratch while other people are looking.

I feel no picture is needed for this character. He is the one who you want to go up to with a bucket of water hoping it will

a) relieve us all from some of that mysterious scent

b) get them to shut the cheese up

c) make them start melting, or

d) all of the above.

They can't let the teacher get through one sentense without interrupting, and can't seem to figure out how that is so annoying. They laugh at their own jokes, because no one else will. They raise their hand and when the teacher looks around the room for someone else to answer, raise it higher because maybe the teacher didn't see it the first time even though they're in the front row. Or maybe the exact leverage of his elbow made the teacher go into an epileptic episode, so you had to raise it higher for her to notice. Or maybe raising your hand higher someone generates a higher I.Q. I don't know, but it's a small need for them. This person always feels inclined to tell eveyone the story of their pet lizard that is actually made out of legos, and how it peed little lego urine bits on his hand once, so he had to be rushed to the hospital because lego pee is very toxic to people born in february. Everyone has heard this story 18 times, yet he (forgets?) (thinks they forgot?) (will poop himself if he doesn't tell it exactly 27 times a day?) He is also the one that is wayyyyy too interested in your life, and asks you questions all the time that you either "don't hear" or give some completely bogus answer to.

So, in short, these are the 7 types of students? Which one are you? # 2? 4? 17.28? or perhaps the # 8 that nobody dares to mention, because it is just too awesome.